Embrace: almost forgot

Late in the day yesterday, I remembered that it was embrace the camera day over at the Anderson crew’s blog…

Lucas took these for me.  It was so cute to see him hold up the big ole camera.  “I’ve got it, Mom.  I’ve taken hundreds of these…move to the left a little the sun’s in your eyes”.  AND  “No, you don’t need to put makeup on, you are already too pretty”

he he.  thanks Lukie.

Mom - May 14, 2011 - 1:45 am

Good job Lukie!!! He’s right you already are too pretty!! As always!!

Totally worth the foxtails in the behind.

Yesterday, I was fortunate enough to shoot these stunning teens.  It was a senior shoot, but little sis was so gorgeous too that I HAD to get her in some shots!   Now, staying totally true to form, I wore my flip flops AND a skirt.  Ya, totally inappropriate shoes and outfit given that we were blazing our way through the wilderness to find just the right spot…Thistle, Foxtails and lots of scurrying in the bushes left me and their Mamma jumping out of our skin more than once!

Baseballs and pudding.

Ever wondered what the inside of a baseball looks like? Ya, me either…but here it is.  Kinda cool it’s just a super ball with some yarn, who knew.

later we had some pudding…these two are so silly together.  They are so sweet.  Eli loves Ruby like nothing I’ve ever seen.  He cares about her and wants her to have fun, be safe and silly.  I love that.

Mom - May 12, 2011 - 2:23 am

Eli is so cool like that with little Ruby. He’s that way with me too!!

You were always there

I can’t really imagine how she felt.  After all, she was only 16 when she found out she was pregnant with me.  She came from a strong Christian family and I am sure that the news of their 16 year old daughter being pregnant must have rocked the boat quite a bit.  But hey, It was the 70’s things were different then, or so my Mom tells me.

The good and obvious news is that she decided to keep me (although I’ve never actually asked her if she considered otherwise).  I am trying to think of specific memories of her and I together but I can’t.  I am filled with memories of moments and times; however, it almost feels like we were just an extension of each other and to split those memories into ones of she and I is almost impossible.  What I remember most is her strength, perseverance and resolve. No matter what storm we were in and how turbulent it was, she always remained calm and together.

It was my Mom and Me against the world. As much as we are alike, we are very different.  Her nails are long and always painted, she wears a ring on (almost) every finger, two necklaces at a time, her decorating is tacky (and she would self admit that fact), she likes The Rolling Stones MORE than The Beatles and she uses paper towels as napkins, regardless of occasion.  She is totally laid back, mellow and doesn’t care what ANYONE thinks of her, including me! When I was a teenager and “cool”, these things used to embarrass me to no end. Yet, now and with some maturity, they are some of my favorite things about my mom.

She was about 34 when I moved out of the house and I think she lost her best friend when I left.  I never asked her and she never said. She was always encouraging, supportive and loving – no matter whether I was in her good graces or not. I never understood that then, but I do now.

You showed up.

You were always there.

You were never too busy for me.

You would walk out of any job, put any situation on hold, and sacrifice whatever you were doing whenever I needed you…even if it meant you couldn’t go back.

You fought for me.

You cooked dinner for me every night, even after you worked an 8+ hour day.

When I was arrested, you showed up and still loved me.

When I was a teen and I called you a B#*!@,  you slapped me (it was the only time you ever hit me) and that was the end of it.

You always thought I was beautiful, even when I didn’t.

You NEVER spoke badly about my Dad to me, even though he did bad things to you.  You let me make my own observations.

You let me mess up and learn on my own.

You taught me that even if we had NOTHING at all that “as long as we have each other, baby…we’re ok.”

You made Thursday’s our “date night” when I was in high school (one of the hardest stages in my life).  You must have known how much I needed you.

I have never in my life had a relationship deeper than the one I have with my Mom. She is at my core, now, then, and always.

Carolyn Escobedo - May 8, 2011 - 11:50 pm

you are such a great person Anji….and so is your mom.

Mom - May 9, 2011 - 4:05 am

The best thing that ever happened in my life was this beautiful girl. She taught me how to love her. She was always so loving and giving. That’s why it came so naturally.

It’s still a toss up between the Beatles and Stones. Cliff heard Birthday, he thought it was Mick. I think I’d like to hear Mick sing it.

You’re still my #1 baby

With a heavy heart.

I am eating Pringles, they sort of remind me of chicken nuggets.  They aren’t REAL potato slices, they are potato pieces that have been pressed together into a shape and called a chip.  But the reason I sit here awake eating Pringles at this hour is not because my daughter just threw up all over me (fish tacos albeit) in bed and we had to change all the sheets and re-take our baths. But (and all joking aside) my friend is faced with a reality that no Mother could ever imagine facing.  She will be delivering her stillborn baby, induced tomorrow.  My heart is so very heavy for her and her family. I feel helpless and trapped without words to comfort her. The only thing that I could offer her is to take photos of her beautiful little girl in the hospital.  I’ve submitted my application to be a part of an organization that does just this, because it’s close to my heart.  It’s called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, and basically it’s a ministry for photographers to document lives of babies gone from this earth too soon.

I never had to deliver a baby I lost.  There were 6, but I never met them, and sometimes I am grateful that they went to heaven before I felt them in my tummy. She’s felt her baby girl, she will hold her baby girl, and although I will never know that sort of pain, I hope to help her remember the joy of that baby.

The Hubby is snuggled up with Ruby right now watching Melmo (Elmo) and I think I’m going to join them.

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