My little boy isn’t so little anymore.

In 3 months, Tommy will turn 9.  I am sad because he’s not a little boy anymore. Last night after he was asleep I went up and laid down next to him.  As I snuggled up behind him, I realized that he’s only about 6 inches shorter than me, and when I held his hand it felt as if I was holding a grownups hand.  I put my arm up next to his, it was the same length as mine, his feet are my size. All of the sudden, he felt so big to me. I can’t pick him up and carry him anymore, but he picks me up instead.

We have grown up conversations about politics, religion and the things that upset him about this world.  Currently he is studying about the Bannock Indian tribe.  It’s  a school project and there were NO books in the library about this tribe so I went to Amazon and found one.  I knew it was above his reading level but I got it anyway.  He started reading it and after about 3 chapters he came to me and said that he didn’t get what was going on in the book. He didn’t understand what he was reading.  I sat with him and read through the chapters again, explaining what the complex words mean.

Extermination: Yes, they (our soldiers) were ordered to EXTERMINATE all members of the Bannock tribe.

Tommy: “Mommy, what does that mean?”

Me: “Well, it means that they were supposed to kill all of the Indians in that tribe”

Tommy: “All of them? Like, even the kids and their Moms?”

Me: “Ya, sadly that’s what that means”

Tommy: “I don’t understand, God says we should love ALL people.  That would include the Indians, right?”

Me: “Yes, Tommy that’s right.”

Tommy: “And wasn’t this country founded on His (God’s) rules?”

Me: “Yes, Tommy that’s right.”

Tommy: “So, that’s what I don’t get”

Me: “Me, either.  It was a very sad time for many people.”

We both were upset by it, he is a smart boy with a compassionate heart.  He couldn’t understand why we “hurt” these people so much. Why our forefathers thought it was so important to change their ways when they were a peaceful tribe.  I didn’t know what to say.  He and I see eye to eye on a lot of issues and he’s really made me want to re-learn and re-explore, or just understand why I feel the way I do.  I think I am going to learn a lot more from him than I ever did in school.

When I wanted to play today with my camera, I asked him to sit for me.  I took a couple dozen photos of him.  Some serious, most fun and smiling.  I brought him to my computer and asked him which shot was his favorite and that I’d post that one to my blog…he picked the one below.  When I asked him “Why this one?” he said “Because it makes me look serious and smart.”

Yes, he is my smart boy.  So much like his father (nerdy boy) and so much like me. I love that about him and while I am sad that he is growing up, I am so excited to explore new thoughts and ideas with him.  Just as long as it’s not math.  I’ll leave that to my Nerdy Boy (The Hubby).

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Nerdy Boy - February 19, 2011 - 4:47 pm

*Tear Drop* on various planes (no pun intended for The Great Plains where so many tribes once existed)…that our little baby is transforming before our very eyes…that senseless tragedies like that of the Bannocks occurred and continue in this day and age…that you look to me to tutor our children in math. *sigh*

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