I really hate my neurotic days, you know the ones where I am actually so foolish to think I’ll get through my to-do list with 4 children around.
I tried to take a shower and watched as Ruby got into my makeup and intentionally sprinkled gold dust powder all over the snow clothes we borrowed from our neighbors. She looked right at me as I told her “no” through the shower glass. She shook her head, smiled and devishly dumped it right into the CLEAN pile of clothes.
Next, I tried to sit down and check email. I then realized that Ruby and Eli had disappeared into my room for what appeared to be 2.5 minutes. They locked the door and ate at least 15 Hershey’s kisses while using my duvet as a napkin. THEN! as I am in the horrid laundry room (stepping over the piles of dirty laundry) trying to get the chocolate out of my duvet, a fight breaks out between Tommy and Lucas, so I go into referee mode and pull out the yellow card (see previous soccer entries). Lucas, in his infinite wisdom, responds by throwing a cup across the island and shattering it. Meanwhile, Eli was still screaming in time out and Ruby started winding herself up in the silk drapes (I don’t have many fancy things in my home for this very reason, but my drapes bring a somewhat sense of tranquility to my being) and it was right about then that I wondered…why I stopped doing drugs all those years ago.
As my nerves were getting more and more frazzled, I yelled at the kids “You’re ruining everything. Can you guys just stop destroying things?!!” and then from the mouth of my five year old son came something that literally took me to my knees and made me cry. “No Mom! YOU ARE RUINING ME!”
It’s almost noon and the kids are still in their PJ’s. Lucas has been playing Lego Star Wars for over 2 hours (ya ya, I allowed my kid to play for 2 hours instead of reading a book…shoot me now), I put Ruby to bed and Tommy and Eli are watching TV (ya ya, I know). UNCLE! Why doesn’t that work in real life?
So there it is folks. It’s not about me, or the things I need to accomplish. Clearly. I am now taking a sip of my cold coffee.