But the first time kinda rips your heart out.
Tommy and I got into a pretty heated argument this morning. You see, something happened when he turned 8. It was like he transformed into a teenager. Rolling his eyes, loud sighs when I ask him to do something or even worse, giving me major lip and displaying a total and complete lack of respect for me in front of his brothers and sister. We decided about 1 week into his 8th year that we would not deal with that sort of behavior and we have instituted a sort of zero tolerance attitude towards it. If he is being respectful, speaking in a proper tone and not gesturing aggressively we will hear him out, even if we don’t agree. BUT, if we get a ration of attitude, aggression and tone it’s up to his room or a long stint in time out.
So, this morning after I caught him picking on his little bother I confronted him by simply asking him what had happened. He flew off the handle, started shouting and yelling at me. I told him he could either go to his room until he calmed down or sit in time out until he’d calmed down. That really upset him more because he shouted and got louder. He said he didn’t want to be a part of this family anymore, wished that he was not my son and that he wanted to be a part of a different family…of course my response to this was to ask him if he really meant what he said and to think about it…before I could finish he screamed at me. So I very simply said, If you don’t want to be a part of this family anymore, there’s the door, take with you what is yours only.
He disappeared upstairs for over an hour, so I figured he’d calmed down when Lucas shouted to me MOM! TOMMY’S LEAVING! I ran to the door and watched my little 8 year old, barefoot, un-brushed hair, and a bag that didn’t even zip up, walking out my door and said to him: “Tommy, where are you going?” He turned back at me and smiled, shrugged his shoulders and said “I don’t know”.
He ran back to me, we hugged I told him how much we all love him and how we’d never be the same with out him… and besides how far did he think he was going to get with no shoes and a bag full of jeans.
I found him on the computer later today writing:
tommy’s paper to mom
today i was about to run away from home but my mom said where are you going and i answered i don’t know and my mom said come in we all love you very much and i said okay i’ll stay.
I’m sure it won’t be this last time this happens with any of the kids. but I am sure glad we could laugh about it later. I inspected the bag he had packed. Only underwear and jeans, no socks, no toothbrush, NO SHOES, no PJ’s. What in the world was that boy thinking!