Tough guy.

This kid.

Right here.

The one giving his little brother a piggy back across the stream.  The one giving the same brother a ride back to the car, he’s a real tough guy, or so he wants me to think.  I could show you countless photos of Tommy painting his sisters nails for her, helping a wounded brother or simply being caring.  But I’d better not overdo it and let his secret out of the bag.  He’s getting to big for me to post too much publicly about him anymore.  He’s already started saying “No mom!  don’t put it on your blog/FB.”  He has friends getting Instagram accounts/email and FB, while all I can think is SLOW DOWN, it’s happening too fast.

Tommy’s in this strange place right now, somewhere in-between wanting to be a kid and wanting to be a grown up.  I heard something a while back that has really helped me to understand him.  “Don’t force your desires onto your kids”  So, I’ve been trying to give him some slack, let the rope out a bit and let him do some growing on his own.  I remember all to well how it feels to be exactly his age, and remembering that has really allowed me to step back and observe rather than meddle (too much).

So this kid with a giant heart, a big softie is starting to create this tough guy exterior.  Maybe it’s a boy thing, I don’t get that part, or maybe he’s just trying to protect that big heart from getting hurt.  Whatever it is that is changing in him right now, I  want to be his constant.  His rock.  When he wants to talk I let him talk, and when he wants time ALONE, I fight back the tears of my baby pushing me away and give him some time until he’s ready. And most of the time I’m pretty good at it, but being a girl I find myself frequently asking him if he’s ready to talk only to be told “leave me alone”.  **Must teach Ruby to leave bears alone til bears want to come out of their cave!

Something that is close to my heart is nature.  I love being outside, at the beach, walking in nature and just go wherever the moment takes me.  Tommy is the same and I dig that about him.  So I decided to take the boys out to one of my old favorite hiking spots, Holy Jim Canyon. But what I didn’t remember is how gnarly the drive in is!  I was able to take the suburban only so far, and then we still had to hike 2 miles in to the trail head. As we were hiking in there were bunches of cars passing us up, Lucas looked at me and said “Hey Mom, I don’t get it…WHY couldn’t we drive the suburban any farther in?  It is a truck!” to which Tommy answered, “It’s not REALLY a truck Lucas, It’s just good for driving us around to all of our sporting events and holding all of our junk!”.  Well put, Tommy.

We made it all the way to the trail head and Eli just wasn’t going any further.  He said his legs hurt, this from the kid that will play soccer for HOURS without stopping. Oh well, maybe he isn’t a natural Tarzan despite his looks.

I am in love with this first shot, It speaks to me.  My 3 boys as they are, Lucas in a very independent stage out to show the world he can do it all on his own, Eli still clinging to his big brother for help and Tommy rising to occasion.


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