On being me.

I am a flip flop wearing, camera toting, baby carrying, bleeding heart…

…and that’s where I stop, what else describes me?   This madness all started because of THIS new site I joined at pintrest.  It pretty much rocks and I found it a couple weeks ago when I was obsessing over one of my current favorite photographers.  Tara Whitney. I started pinning things to my boards and while I was doing so, I realized how conflicted I am. I did the big No, No and started comparing my board to the other boards.  I only have just begun but, I noticed something.  My board didn’t look like everyone-else’s.  All of the other boards seem so cohesive, so together.  They all had things that make sense, things, that GO together.  While I was pinning a photo of a VW Bus (this WILL be my next car) to my board, I looked over at my Super Glam bathroom.  SO NOT VW, SO NOT HIPPIE, SO NOT most of the things I love, but, it is totally fabulous and I created it.  Weird, right?

Ruben and I were laughing today about how I am such an oxymoron.  On one side of me there is this hippie (which comes from my Mom), and on the other side there is this, as he called it, Stepford wife side (which comes from my Grandmother).  When he met me, I would have NEVER left the house without makeup but as I sit here and type this I am barefoot, in jeans without my hair blown out and without a stitch of makeup (the hippie side).  So that is my paradox…

We never see ourselves as others do, we always compare even though we shouldn’t.  Since I am forever a creative, I am thinking about me as such.  Creatively, what would sum me up? I know it’s a weird thing to ask but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.

Photo by Rebecca Dever.  My other favorite photographer and obsession, she took this of Ruby and I during her 1st birthday shoot.  It is my favorite, it is a moment.  It is the way I’ll always remember Ruby as  baby.

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melissa - March 20, 2011 - 10:19 pm

I can totally relate.

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