Today is the First Day of school and as stoked as I was to have the kids go back after Summer, the truth is, I was kinda sad.
Maybe it’s the transitions, I’ve never been good with transition. The in-between adjustment times. I didn’t really know this about myself until I had kids but I tend to stress out a little in these times, and so does this guy:
That’s sorta a half happy crooked smile on him. I was pretty sure the way this morning went, we weren’t going to be in the classroom at all. I even yelled at him because he refused to get ready. Sitting back I am realizing he must be a little like me. If Elias is going to go sideways on us it’s usually during an in-between time. Although, I have a feeling that it doesn’t just go sideways in those moments. I bet something is happening a lot sooner in his brain and I need to pay more attention to that.
As I watched FB this morning and all the happy pictures of others peoples kids I wonder how many of those smiles are forced, like Elias is forcing the one above because he’s expected to. I wonder how many parents felt the struggle this morning, but just put on the happy first day of school smile.
What truly makes me happy is the hearts inside of each and every one of these kids, even when they go sideways and don’t let me get a first day of school picture.
Now I’m sitting here sobbing like a buffoon because I remember the first day of school. I remember HOW it feels, I remember the struggles of trying to fit in and wanting to be liked. I didn’t like it and I don’t want my kids to have the same experience.
So the truth of it is, I am not a huge fan of school and I struggle with imposing my feelings about it onto my children andallinthesamethought I also struggle with how to be sensitive to what they are feeling and influence them in a positive way.
In the past week I’ve had 3 people tell me they miss my blogging and stories, that made me feel really good so I think I may start sharing my thoughts here again.